KRISTEN S, 50
Orange County, CA
“Kristen had struggled with depression throughout her life, however it escalated when she was in her late 40s. She developed severe insomnia and oftentimes gave up trying to sleep and went into her office in the middle of the night to begin her workday. Kristen and her husband began arguing more than ever before and her life began to fall apart until one night when she tried to take her own life.”
I wasn’t doing well, but I didn’t recognize it. I was working two jobs in the medical field and I wasn’t sleeping at all. I had terrible insomnia and would go days without sleeping. I was working 18-hour days between the two jobs and was under a terrible amount of stress. My husband and I were arguing a lot and that was very unlike us; we never really argued much in our marriage and that was adding stress onto me. I just wasn’t dealing with anything and did not fully understand I was sinking until one night when I tried to take my life.
I was brought to the hospital and was basically treated and sent home. I still felt a heaviness every day and feelings that I did not want to live anymore. I went back into a hospital for treatment, and it turned out to be a bad decision. I was just not receiving the proper treatment there and eventually checked out. But one good thing that came out of it was that one day my husband was reading a magazine in the waiting room and there was an article about ketamine and how it can help people with treatment-resistant depression.
Initially I thought it was a crazy idea, but he kept pushing and finally, a couple of days later with no improvement in my situation, I agreed and got the ketamine infusion therapy treatment and also started seeing a really good therapist.
After my first treatment, I immediately felt that the heaviness in my chest was gone. That sinking feeling that I didn’t want to live was gone. I felt like I wanted to live. My husband told me he felt like he had his wife back.
I got up the courage to leave the two jobs that were giving me so much stress and I started a nonprofit organization to help the families of fallen law enforcement officers. My husband is a police captain and this issue is very close to our hearts.
Now I can recognize when I need help and my outlook is so much brighter. I see a future for myself, where as before I didn’t. Before I couldn’t even see a day ahead of me and now I feel positive about my life. I see meaning in my life. I see that my life has purpose and I never felt that way before.